Having sat through hundreds of wedding ceremonies, I have seen it all.
Dogs carrying the rings.
Flower girls running away.
Family member biffing it on the walk down the aisle.
And so much more...
But the real make or break aspect to the ceremony is your officiant.
The person running the show.
They got the mic and our full attention.
Plus, they are basically kicking off this party. Setting the tone for the rest of the night.
There's 3 ways to go with your officiant:
Hire a profesional
Have a pastor or
Close friend/family member.
So...here's 4 Reasons why you should have your friend and not your pastor lead your wedding ceremony.
1. Why Am I Sitting Through A Church Service?
Even if YOU are religious, I would say the majority of your guests didn't come to your wedding to hear a sermon. And that's pretty much all the preacher does. They'll spend 25 minutes on why Jesus said this or what the Bible says about that, and barely mention anything about the 2 people the day is about.
This is my biggest gripe.
These kinds of ceremonies feel very
Impersonal.
Distant.
Irrelevant.
Humorless.
And to be honest..the advice given is very dated..
Setting a precedent that the groom is the head of the house is a dangerous way to get 2 people, who are trying to get a life together, started. It is a joined effort here.
What the guests wanna hear about, is the couple!
How they met, why they love each other, talk about the dogs..not how Jesus saved the party by turning water into wine. Not gonna lie..coulda used him at one or 2 weddings when the alcohol dried up
2. Preachers Have An Agenda
Most preachers are charged with the task of saving souls.
Right in front of them at the wedding are 200 potential members. You can hear it in their language.
I think it's why most of the ceremony is dedicated to Sunday School instead of the couple.
I've spoken to a few and they have said that they have known the couple for a long time. Didn't feel like it.
The agenda here is to create a memorable and relevant expereinece that centers the conversation around the couple, their family and the life they are about to embark on.
3. Preachers Have Left My Jaw OPEN
Out of all the cermonies I have witenessed, the ones that leave me speechless are typically done by the preacher. For example:
One went on for about 10 minutes about...DIVORCE. Yeah..the reason why it happens, and how there's a 60% chance that they will probably end up splitting up..
Another one I'll never forget was the preacher who painted a lovely and vivid picture of the upcoming wedding night and the activities that were to take place in the bedroom!
At least they were hot..lol
4. This One Is Petty..Too Much Talking
If you hire a pastor to officiate the wedding..it's a guaranteed 30-40 minutes.
Now...maybe that sounds petty to you, but to 200 guests sitting out in the sun, baking..it's an eternity. Times have changed people!
Ceremonies don't need to last 2 episodes of Friends.
Let's go.
Tell a few stories
Get the rings out
Let them recite their vows (my favorite way of doing this)
Pronounced
Kiss
Let's drink!
So why have a friend or family member do it?
Carrying over from number 4..Your friend will keep your ceremony 15 minutes or less.
But MOST IMPORTANTLY- they make it about you.
You'll get to hear actual stories of the couple. Maybe even a few jabs.
The fact that they haven't done it much does leave the opportunity of a blunder, but if it does (and almost always has) it's usually a laughable moment.
One of the best ceremonies I have ever seen happened a few weeks ago and it was done by a friend.
He had us all rolling. Telling great stories, gave us their love journey, the ups and downs and of course how he played a significant role in them ending up together (they love taking credit for this).
It was great. My favotire line (and it always gets a laugh) is the "And now by the power invested in me by the universal life church.."
I also love it when a parent or sibling does it. Now, have some tissue ready cause they will not make it through without crying, but how special is that. They tell great stories, and they get to be apart of the biggest day of the couples life.
Bring in the people that mean the most to you.
What do you think?
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